


What's your game anyway? (prompt response)

by Dream_Seeker



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:42:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_Seeker/pseuds/Dream_Seeker
Summary: What did Higgs Monaghan want with me? All I wanted to do was be a Porter and do my job."Ash," I told myself, "The crazy has now entered your life. How does this shit even happen?"Written for a prompt. Prompt is at the start of the fic.
Relationships: Higgs Monaghan & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

  
You work with Sam Porter Bridges as a Porter. No one at Bridges knew you had a dangerous crush on Sam's mortal enemy, Higgs Monaghan, the murdering terrorist.

You were never sure if Higgs knew about it or not - he still put you through hell with Sam if the two of you were working together, but Higgs had also helped you out more often than not if you were doing solo runs.

Higgs confused you.  
You definitely confused Higgs.

But in the end, there would be no doubt at all.

You were a Porter with Sam.

Sam was a kind sweetheart. 

Higgs was a terrorist.

You had to choose a side.

You chose..... 

* * *

  
"Look up ahead." Sam motioned for me to get down while crooking a finger at me to get up next to him. I squatted low and duck walked over to him, looking down to the valley below us.

A small group of Homo Demens were patrolling the area, no doubt going toward their camp - or hunting MULES... when it came to the Demens, anything was possible. They were all very deadly people who had gone pretty much insane due to their DOOMS.

Some DOOMS sufferers, like Sam and me, were lucky to not have succumbed to that awful state of mind, but, I pondered to myself, being a Porter in these dangerous times seemed pretty insane to me.

Sam and I were ready to move onward when he paused again, grabbing my wrist and gesturing with his nose. I moved my eyes to where he was meaning - and my own widened.

The Leader of the Homo Demens, Higgs Monaghan, had just jumped into their group and seemed to be giving commands to what probably were the heads of the group.   
Sam turned and duck walked back down the hill, and started to make his way down the path. Didn't need any run ins with Higgs. His DOOMS was off the charts.

I had paused for a moment as Sam moved on, gazing down at Higgs for a few moments as I thought, _'What happened to you to make you so evil, Higgs? Not that I could save you, but man. You need a fucking hug. Maybe some mind blowing sex a couple times a week. Life sucks, yeah, but a few good orgasms from good sex always make this shit-filled life look a little more bright...._ '

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I only realized Higgs was now looking up at me a few seconds after my internal monologue had ended. I started, then slowly backed up, turned, and hurried after Sam. Perhaps Higgs didn't really see me and just happened to be looking at something different.

Hopefully. 

* * *

  
Higgs didn't need to turn to see the girl above. He could hear her thoughts as if she were talking right in his ear.

As he turned to survey the area, he let his eyes move up the cliffside until they fell on her. He knew she was deep in her thoughts but he still kept looking right at her.

When she came out of her head and realized he'd known she'd been staring, Higgs watched her sneak away to rejoin with Sam.

Higgs always knew pretty much everything.

When she vanished from his sights, Higgs let a small smile grace his lips.

Showtime.

He jumped. 

* * *

  
"How far to the next shelter, Sam?" I asked as we traversed our way over a stupid small-rock area. It'd be so easy to fall or twist an ankle, especially with the weight on our backs from the Cargo. We had been making our way to our destination for a good 4 hours now and I was getting tired. 

"Probably another 20 minutes. 25." Was Sam's reply.

"Egh." I playfully griped, then let out a small cry as a rock displaced under me and my feet went out from under me. I lost my cargo as I tumbled down the hill, vaguely hearing Sam shouting from behind me. Luckily for me, I landed in a dip that broke most of my fall. I groaned, then let out a sharp cry as pain raced through my ankle.

"Fuck!" I hissed, gingerly touching the joint. It felt... odd. Not broken, but not quite right. I tried to stand and winced as pain shot up my leg. I wasn't going anywhere on this leg for a while.

"Ash! Are you alright?" I heard Sam and was about to try to get up again when I heard that familiar and fear-bringing unmistakable sound of Teleport. Jumping. Whatever.

My eyes closed because I KNEW it was Higgs.

"Well, well. Our little Porter Spy has gone and hurt her leg." Higgs came up to me and squatted down, lying a hand on my lower leg.

My eyes moved to Sam, who had stopped 40 feet from me.

"Get away from her, Higgs. You want to fight someone, fight me."

"Sammy boy, why you just about hurt my feelings. Now why would you assume I'm here to harm anyone? Hmm?" Higgs drawled before returning his eyes to me. I could only stare up at him as he did to me, and then he moved closer to me.

I about freaked out when he moved his lips to my ear and whispered," It's okay. It's okay. You're not the one I have issues with. That would be your dear friend Sam. BUT if I were to let loose some of my pets on him, they'd harm you too. Now I don't know about you, but that's not very fair when you have a sprained ankle. Tell ya what. What say I help your ankle and then you help me later, hm? A favor for a favor."

As I just stared, Higgs gently undid my boot laces, removed my boot, took great care to pull my sock half way off my foot, and held my ankle in his hands. He then met my eyes.

"Now, this is completely up to you, darlin'. Either I can help your ankle, or I can fully snap it in half. Will you do the favor for me when I come to you and request you to fulfill it?"

I pursed my lips, glanced at Sam- and gasped when Higgs very lightly pressed his thumb down on the sprain. "No need to look at Sammy boy, darlin. You and I are talkin right now. He's not included. So? What's your decision?"

I held his eyes and finally nodded. "I'll.... help you."

"Good choice, darlin! I knew you were the smart type!" Higgs commended me and then gently caressed the skin on my ankle before doing SOMEthing which totally took all pain away.

"Good as new, kitten." Higgs then moved his lips to my ear again. "Don't forget our deal. Oh, and, you're very, verrrrry right...."

"....A-about what?" I asked, trying to keep the wobble out of my voice and he continued, "Sex DOES make this shit-filled life brighter." He raised his face up a few inches, took a deep inhale of my hair, whispered, "Niiiiice, darlin....", slowly licked down to my mouth, softly touched his lips to mine, then jumped 3 feet away.

As my eyes met his, he winked, blew me a little kiss, and was gone. 

  
Sam was next to me a moment later. "What'd that fucking asshole say to you, Ash?"

"He... fixed my ankle...." I numbly replied, still staring where Higgs had been. 

"What was the catch? It's HIGGS. He don't do a thing without a catch."

"He just said a favor for a favor. Nothing else."  
Sam grunted as I fixed my sock and boot then helped me to my feet. "How is it?" He asked and I nodded. "Good as new like nothing happened..... We need ol' boy working with us. He could fix any issue. He's on the wrong team for sure." I mused but Sam shook his head.

"Higgs used to be a Porter. Even worked with Fragile. He then went rogue. REAL rogue."

"Damn....." I said, looking around for Higgs, but he was gone.

"Yeah. Damn." Sam agreed.

We continued on and finally got back to the Timefall shelter. When we entered and offloaded our cargo, I let out a sigh of relief, claimed a bed, fell into it and passed out cold. 

* * *

"Fuhhhhhhhhck....." I whispered as another jolt of thunder cracked above our heads. I could just faintly see a barely visible shimmer of BT's since my DOOMS level had seemed to go up one level. I was now a 3. 

Still didn't make me safe at all from the deadly threat I - and my charge - now faced. I was training a new Porter to learn the ropes, and up to this point he'd been doing exceptional. 

I glanced over at him, moved a finger to my lips and gestured to him, to me, and made a zig motion with my hand. 

"You keep eyes on me and follow my steps"

He, Jayson, nodded and we started forward very slowly while my eyes and ears never stopped once. When a BT appeared 5 yards away my hand in a tight fist went up:

"Stop ALL movement."

We froze like statues and I met his eyes as I slowly brought my hand up to cover my nose and mouth as I held my breath. Jayson did the same and, surprisingly, we both remained calm.

The BT floated off and, as Jayson and I slowly let our breath out, our eyes met and i held my my fingers. Crossed.

"Thank goodness we're okay."

He nodded and we moved on. It took years, it felt, but finally we got past the danger and walked a little further before sitting on some large rocks.

"Fucking BT's," I muttered, "Much as they break my ever loving heart, they're a nuisance."

"Why in the _world_ would a BT break your heart?" Jay asked as he pulled out his canteen and took a long swallow from it. 

"Because every single one of them once was a living entity like you, me, animals.... just as we never ask to be attacked by them, they never asked for this kind of eternal punishment. I bet most were religious and had that end-life goal to go to some Heaven, Valhalla, etc to forever live happy with past dead loved ones....all that hope and excitement...  
'I lived the best life I could. I was kind to others. I was selfless. I did the best I could as a Human and now as I die I know I'll be allowed to live a beautiful afterlife with my loved ones"......they all believed that.....and look at them now. Denied the afterlife they figured they'd get, to be THOSE." I snarled as I angrily gestured toward where the BT collection had been.  
"There are fucking INFANT BT's for fucks sake." My voice rose. "INFANTS. What kind of FUCKING god let's THIS shit happen?!" 

Jay and I were quiet for a few moments before I wiped my eyes and gave him a small smile."Sorry, Jay. Not like I'm religious at all, but...guess I put myself into their shoes. All that hope just to end up a BT. The babies get me the hardest though. THAT doesn't...I'm still pissed cuz fuck BT's as a concept but..  
Fucking BABIES. That one hurts, Jay. It _hurts_."

* * *

Higgs wasn't too far away and he'd enjoyed watching the two Porters slowly making their way through the BT cluster. The things people did to try to be safe, to make the BT's be oblivious to them.

BT's weren't mindless, Higgs knew. They were always aware of anyone or anything amongst them. They CHOSE if and when to attack.

Most of the time they couldn't be arsed to do so unless a living being got TOO close. 

Or Higgs decided he needed some entertainment. 

Or a good old-fashioned Voidout. 

Not today, however. Today Higgs was content to just watch. Sometimes the simplest things could be just as satisfying.

"Hey, Jay," Higgs heard the girl say and when the guy responded, she continued, "Feel like relaxing? There's a hot springs a half mile up that way."

Higgs bit the inside of his lip. 

The simplest things, indeed.

* * *

I had gestured toward a spring for Jay to use and then made my way to one far enough for our own privacy but still close enough to access fast if there was an emergency.

I stripped to my bra and panties, stepped into the welcoming hot water and sat, sinking to a few inches below my shoulders. 

There were a few Chiralium hands poking up here and there and as I lied back against the side of the springs and closed my eyes, the Chiralium crystals started playing their soft tune. I had always found it eerily beautiful - dissonance mixed with consonance which fit the crystals perfectly.

"Wish I could have that music around me anytime I needed to hear it." I murmured to no one. "Takes too long to find these things TO get to hear it."

I rested, stress going away, and let my eyes close down, absolutely loving that moment in life.

'We meet again. Hello, Darlin." I opened my eyes to see Higgs Monaghan's face a few inches from my own and my mouth opened to scream - but Higgs placed his finger over his lips and my mouth closed.

"Shhhhhh shhhhh. No need to ruin your partners relaxation. I'm not here to hurt you, darling. I didn't the last time, did I?" 

I shook my head in the negative and Higgs continued. "Exactly. If i wanted to hurt you, you'd know it. Anyway, I was just in the area and figured a niiiice relaxing spring was precisely what I needed - and I get here to see sweet little you already enjoying it."

"I could change springs if you want this one." I offered awkwardly but Higgs slipped his arm around my shoulders as he sat right next to me, our legs touching. 

"No need to do that. It's big enough for both of us to enjoy." He chuckled as he gently pulled me against him and closed his eyes.

I stared at him until he gently squeezed my upper arm. "Relax, sweetheart and close your eyes. I ain't gonna bite." He reached over with his other hand and gently pressed my cheek against his chest right above his pectoral. 

He left his hand there. 

Higgs was tenderly holding me against him in a hot springs.

I wondered what game he was playing. 

I didn't move as i innately knew Higgs wouldn't hurt me and let the heat from the springs relax my sore and tired muscles. Some time later, Higgs moved some and softly said, "You may want to get dressed and take off. There's a group of Demens headed this way. They'll be here in about 15 minutes. "

I looked up at him and he nodded. "You don't want to cross paths with them, darlin'. They can be reeeeal nasty." Higgs gestured for me to exit the spring so I did. I got dressed and packed up my cargo - pausing as I felt Higgs adjust a few on my back. He then came around to stand in front of me, studied me for a moment and then brought his lips to my ear, resting a hand right below my neck, "I'll go hold them off. Get the both of ya out of here before I change my mind, kitten."

Higgs placed a soft kiss on my forehead and jumped. 

I got Jay and we were gone within 5 minutes.

As I walked, I suddenly heard the music of the Chiralium crystals and it was really clear. Confused, I looked around but saw no crystals anywhere. 

Then i looked down and saw the source. There, around my neck, was a small necklace with some crystals attached. Now and then they let their song chime through. 

I looked back toward the Springs and saw Higgs standing on one of the higher rocks. He was looking right at me and placed his hand over the area below his neck, then pointed out to me. 

I understood as I touched the crystal necklace. As the music caressed my ears again, my eyes teared up some. I mouthed 'Thank you, Higgs.' and then turned, continuing on the way.

I wasn't sure what his game was, but I had to admit that _that_ was a nice gift. 

* * *

Two weeks passed and I found myself doing another solo delivery. This one wasn't very far so I was light hearted - it also helped my mood as the day was perfect. No MULES around, no Timefall, no normal rain. No BT's.

I actually was happily humming, lost in my own world as some birds (rare as they were since Timefall had killed many) sang their songs while I made my way down the path in the woods. I wasn't more than a half hour from my drop off point. 

  
I was so lost in my own world that I didn't notice the two figures standing on the path up ahead.   
The first thing that caught my attention was a twig snapping underfoot. I looked up and saw two men in blue cloaks, hoods up, standing on the path. They had spears in their hands and were pointing them at me. 

I stopped and swallowed hard. "Uh.... hello?"

"You are the carrier from Bridges, correct?" One asked and I took a step back. "I.. am... Why?" My eyes moved from one to the other and, as one grinned an evil grin, the other answered, "Ah no real reason. We just like to kill your kind and take your bounties. Though with YOU, I reckon we can have some fun before you die, yes?"

I whirled to run but was tackled so hard my cargo fell off me. I fought and screamed, but I couldn't get loose. The one who tackled me punched me in the side of my head hard, then tore my shirt right down the center. I tried to fight back but I was seeing stars and in a lot of pain from the punch, so that went no where. 

Suddenly, a loud crack and flash of light lit up the area and both men were raised off the ground - then fell down dead with their necks broken.

I weakly backed up by pushing my feet along the ground but was stopped by a tree. Shaking hard, I tried to stop the spins from the punch but wobbled and fell to my side.

I must have lost consciousness because I came too not in the woods, but lying on a bed. I sat up fast, eyes darting for the men, then fell back with a groan. "Ugh...." I got out and brought a hand to my forehead.

"Don't move so fast. You have to rest."

I heard and my eyes moved toward the speaker. Higgs came over, sat at my side and traced over my forehead. "We have to stop meeting like this, darlin. Folks will start.... talking."

"You....saved me?" I hesitantly asked and he nodded.

"........ there's another favor attached, isn't there." I softly stated but Higgs gave me a LOOK.

"Not every act of kindness has something attached, darlin. Maybe I just want to do a few nice things. Build up some Brownie Points, hmm?"

I was quiet then murmured, "Thank you, Higgs. I appreciate it."

"I was in the area." He shrugged then rose, walked off and soon returned with a cup of water. He helped me sit, supported me via an arm around my shoulders and gave me the cup.

Once I finished, Higgs took it, sat it on the table in front of the couch I was lying on - and continued to hold me up with his arm.

Our eyes held and I was about to ask him what was going on when Higgs gave me a little smile. I found myself returning it, and then we studied each other for a few more moments.

He slowly moved his head toward mine and, as our lips met, my eyes slowly closed.

It was a short kiss, but it felt.... right. I opened my eyes to find Higgs gazing at me. Our faces were so close that I could feel his exhales on my skin; no doubt he felt mine as well.

Higgs parted his lips as if he wanted to say something but instead, he searched my eyes again and lowered his lips to my own once again.

That kiss lasted longer but was still as slow and undemanding as the prior. This time when Higgs moved back a few centimeters, I reached up and lightly touched his cheek. He turned his head, placed a soft kiss on my palm and then returned to gazing into my eyes.

"I'm sure you'd like to be more comfortable for the night. You'll get a back or neck pain if you stay on this old lumpy couch." Higgs softly said as he rose with me in his arms. 

Once in the bedroom, he carefully lied me down then moved next to me, gently pulling me up against him, my head lying close to his shoulder. He slipped his arm under my head, gently moved my leg up over his hip and slipped his leg between my own. Once again, Higgs and I were tenderly kissing for a while, our embrace never intensifying or leading into anything more - though it easily could have. The desire WAS strong between us, after all. 

"I'm afraid if we continue on like this, we won't get any sleep, kitten, so, as much as we don't want to stop, it's a good idea to. I'll stay just like this with you all night." He gently kissed me once more then just as gently pressed my cheek against his chest and we faded to sleep. 


	2. Soul bearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it just a game to Higgs?

I woke the next morning and was surprised to find Higgs still wrapped up with me. He was awake already and gave me the same small smile he did last night.

"G'morning, Ash." He softly bade me and I returned it, our eyes locked once again. "We have to get up and get to whatever business we have going on. You to get your Cargo delivered, and me to kick some lazy Demens into gear. If I had it my way, we'd stay right here until next week. But the needs of the many outweigh the needs of two."

I gently ran the pad of my finger over his lips and smiled." I'll never sleep as good as I did last night ever again."

"Kitten?"

"Yeah, Higgs?"

"Who says you'll be sleeping alone from now on?"

"I... well.... no one?"

"Precisely." We were kissing again and later, when we left, I was surprised when he came with me.

"I thought you had.. Like... Demens business to tend to? Not that I don't like you walking with me, of course." I pointed out and Higgs chuckled, putting a hand to my shoulder before thinking it over and taking my hand instead.

"They can wait."

* * *

We walked in amicable silence. Once I got my cargo unloaded at the destination spot, Higgs walked back with me. By the time we were halfway back, we were joking and chatting as if we'd been very very close friends for years.

When we were close to the Distro Center, we stopped and Higgs pulled me close against himself, my head once again being held against his chest. As he caressed my upper arm he murmured, "I'll join you tonight before you sleep. Do you have any more deliveries today?" 

"I won't know until I enter the info from this one."

"As soon as you know, just mentally call my name. Once I answer, you can let me know the same way."

"How?" I gaped at him and he chuckled. "We're bonded now. There's a strand between us. The closer we get the stronger it'll be."

"Oh, is that how it works?" I asked, surprised. Higgs nodded and kissed the top of my head.

"I'll see you soon, kitten."

I felt a little sad as I walked away from him, but he was right. The closer we got to each other the stronger the strand would get. It felt weird to have something like that with someone else, ESPECIALLY Higgs Monaghan of ALL people, but at the same time it felt nice. I could get used to it.

* * *

"Higgs?" 

"Yeah, kitten?" 

"No more deliveries today unless something comes through."

"Good. I'll see you after the sun goes down."

"Can't wait." I smiled. "Be safe."

"....i will." Higgs responded then added, "I'm not used to anyone...worrying if I'll be okay or not. I could get used to this."

I felt my heart flutter a bit and I was glad he couldn't see my face just then. "See you soon, Higgs."

"See you soon, Ash."

* * *

I was grinning like an idiot when I walked off toward the cafeteria to grab some food. I felt like a teenager with my first crush who actually felt the same toward me. The other Porters gave me a bit of a break of the usual hazing since I was beaming at nothing in particular.

"You find out you have a long lost sister you never knew about or something?" One of the Porters, Mason, asked. He was at the food line picking out his dinner.

"Huh? No, why?"

"You're beamin' so hard I can see it all the way across the UCA. What's going on?"

"Nothing." I said, my grin not faltering even a little. Mason gave me a look but didn't say anything else about it.

* * *

The rest of the day was pretty slow and when I went to lie down that night, Higgs showed up right on time.

"Hey, you." He greeted, lying next to me and pulling me into our sleep position. He gently carressed my cheek as our eyes held deeply. 

"I stayed as safe as I could today, just for you, kitten." He softly said then, as the crystals around my neck began their song, Higgs gently ran his finger over them and met my eyes again. 

"I overheard you that day at the springs and couldn't resist. I hope they're making you happy, Ash."

"They do, Higgs. Everyone I hear them now, it's like a long, tender hug from you."

His eyes softened and, when the chiral tune began playing again he brought his lips to mine in a slow but full kiss. 

He only paused to whisper, "I want it to bring you more memories of feelings than just long hugs, Ash." before he returned to my lips. I returned his kisses, thoroughly loving how we just....fit together so right, yet we were night and day opposite. Where I was kind, selfless, loving and teared up over infant BT's, Higgs was into torture, murder, Voidouts...

Made no fucking sense at all to me. None. Nada, zip, zilch. 

But I'd have a terrible hole in my soul when he wasn't around. I got butterflies when he held me close. My pulse sped up when I'd feel his lips on mine. 

When he was with me, I felt whole. Bulletproof. Lucky. Accepted. Needed. 

Safe.

"I feel like I'm in grave danger ...no, wait.." I murmured when Higgs went to protest. "I feel like I'm in grave danger when you're not around. And when you ARE around? I feel safe. Like I could lie down in the middle of a voidout and be perfectly fine because you're there, Higgs. And im not blind to all you've done . Not at all. Eyes wide open, for sure. I should be terrified of you all the way down to the cellular level which makes me ME. But honestly, I don't care. The huge loss of lives you've caused eats me up and spits me out because I can imagine their horror, pain, their surviving loved ones pain and extreme grief. But damn it, Higgs, I just need to look past all of that because being in your arms makes me feel alive. Worth something to someone more than just a Porter. You've helped me so many times, when, if it was any one else, you woulda left them to suffer or make their suffering worse. But me... you've healed me, saved me, given me a priceless gift, and an even more priceless gift- you yourself- and i don't know WHY. Why me? What's so great about me? I don't know and I'll probably never know, but I DO know one thing. I feel the safest I've ever felt in my entire life because of and when I'm with you, Higgs Monaghan."

I paused because this was the hardest thing I was about to say. I took a deep breath. "You have THE strongest power right now. You have THE easiest way to fully and completely achieve your best annihilation EVER. All you need to do to gain those notches is to let me know this has all been a game to you. To achieve some dastardly mission, to alieve your boredom, to get laid.... all you have to do is let me know this was all just a game and that I never meant or don't mean shit to you. Yeah, Higgs. My feelings for you ARE that strong and real that you can and will shatter me if it's only been your game."

Higgs' mouth opened, then closed, then opened again as he tried to form words. Finally he gently rolled me onto my back and moved partially on top of me. 

"Ash...." he whispered, his eyes full of pain. "You are NOT a game or a means to some end or any bullshit like that. Not. You. I know it's out of character for me to put anyone or anything above myself- but Ash, I'm a human also and I have emotions, needs, wants... I want... Love and acceptance just like any human does. You, Ash. You're the one I want... Need in my life, standing strong next to me, lying in my arms where I can protect you. I want to share everything with you. Everything. With you, I truly think for the first time in my LIFE that I maybe - just maybe will finally know what actual love feels like.... Both giving and receiving. You are not a game, Ash. You already have my heart, girl."

Higgs' eyes were glossy as he spoke, and his voice cracked a few times. I felt tears welling up in my own eyes.

"Higgs...." I whispered, as he gently laid his head on my chest.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to me, feeling his warmth and strength against me. We laid there silently for a few minutes, just being together.

"Ash...." Higgs said quietly. "I know I'm not the most.... open with my feelings. And I know I've been an asshole to you in the past. But for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I really am."

"Higgs...." I said, as he looked up at me.

I gently touched his face and smiled at him.

"I love you too, Higgs."

He studied my eyes for a few moments, then let out this sound that literally came from his very soul and brought his lips to mine in a kiss we had never shared before.

The need, yearning, desire, craving and love that the kiss held gave me the chills that shot straight down my spine. Slowly Higgs moved his kisses to my cheek, then trailed them down my jaw bone, moving to my neck.

"Higgs...." I breathed out, tracing my fingers up and down his back as I tilted my head back to give him more access to my neck.

He delivered, nipping at my skin then lathing it gently with his tongue. When I felt him leave his mark there, I slightly arched my back, pressing my hips up against his own.

Higgs raised his lips, gazed at me for a few moments and then got up. To my quizzical look he gave me a slow wink, then picked me up in his arms and he jumped us away.

We arrived in a small, cozy bunker and Higgs murmured, "Welcome to my home. I know it ain't much and I'm not here a lot at all - but I think that's about to change." He ran a finger down my cheek and continued. "I didn't want tonight to happen in the Distro. Too many ears and no. I want no interruptions at all. None." He cradled my face in his hands and then lowered his lips to mine in a deep kiss. 

He laid me down on the bed and slowly took off my shirt, then his own. He stared at me for a long moment, then smiled.

"You are so beautiful." he whispered, then kissed me again.

He slowly ran his hands all over my body, touching me in ways no one ever had before.Higgs' eyes were a beautiful ice blue, and as I gazed into them I saw the love he had for me shining through. He absolutely could not fake it at all, even if he tried. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. He laid me down on the bed and then slowly moved on top of me, our kiss never breaking.

Higgs' hands started to roam over my body, igniting fires in their wake. I let out a small groan as he started to move his hips against mine and unconsciously my leg moved over so he ended up pressed against my pussy. Despite us both having pants on, we both felt his need, his cock no doubt pressing uncomfortably against his tan pants.

I reached down and undid his pants, then moved my hand back up to caress his face and Higgs moistened his lips. "You truly want me, Ash? All over every inch of you, outside and in?"

"Every cell of mine is screaming 'Yes, pleeeease' Higgs." I replied, never looking away from him. Our kiss spoke our desire, need and love so loudly and, as we slowly undressed each other, we got acquainted with each other's bodies.

Soon we lied together completely and fully naked; open and vulnerable to each other. "Ash..."

"Higgs..."

"This is where we become one, fully. Completely. If you ever wish to stop, let me know. I don't want to rush you. I want.... _need_... this to mean everything to both of us. That's VERY important to me. I want you accepting all of me, Ash. _All_ of me."

My eyes filled with tears at his words and I gave him a loving, long kiss before locking my eyes with his. "Higgs, I crave all of you. And I want you to crave all of me as well. I want us to become one. Fully. In every way."

And we did. The night was full of tender, passionate full body love-making. We took turns kissing over the others' body, bringing soft moans to sweet lips kissed as much as possible. We gave each other beautiful orgasms, almost too many to count, and after I had a pretty strong one, Higgs raised his face, his entire mouth area glistening with my juices and murmured, "I could stay here forever. You taste so good and cum so fucking beautifully, Ash. To know I'M doing this for and with you just.... It's beautiful." 

A little later when Higgs slowly entered me, we were soul locked via our eyes and I held him close to me.

Once we found our rhythm, Higgs brought his lips to mine and we shared a long long embrace as he moved slowly in me, helping me adjust to his size.

"You're a part of me and I'm a part of you." I softly, lovingly said and Higgs whispered it back to me, adding, " When we cum from this, my Ash, the strand that cements us will be permanent. Nothing will sever it and we can get to each other no matter what happens. No matter how far away we are from each other, we will find each other almost instantly. Ash, I absolutely, with every part of me, love you. I LOVE you. You complete me. "

"And I love you, Higgs. I always will."

We kept this slow, loving pace up until we both came. As Higgs released into me and I felt his warmth flow into me, our eyes never left each other's.

"I'll always be with you, my Ash. Always."

We both knew it was true. We were one now and nothing would ever change that. Nothing.

We kept making love, Higgs holding me close against him with one arm as his other hand moved down to caress my clit. "Want you to cum from my cock and from your clit, Ash. I'll cum with you."

I did. We came together, our bodies in full embrace as we felt the pleasure wash over us, feeling our strand wrap around us tightly, inside and out. Our hearts now beat as one. If my heart sped up from running for example, his would speed up as well. We intimately knew each others thoughts, hopes, emotions. 

We were more than just a part of each other. We WERE each other. 

We fell asleep in each other's arms and woke up like that. I had woken up before Higgs and just watched him sleep, marveling at how beautiful he was. How lucky I was to have him in my life.

As he woke up, we made love one more time, gently and slowly.

"I love you, my Higgs."

"I love you too, my Ash."


	3. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got hurt.  
> Badly. 
> 
> Oh, by the way, Sam......

From that night on, Higgs had me sleeping with him at his - our home, and I was always back at the Center early enough to not draw suspicion

It all changed one day while on a delivery with Sam.

The first 3/4ths of the trip was rather uneventful until we were getting ready to sleep in a Timefall shelter. We had just finished eating when Sam asked, "Hey...I've um..noticed you're not in your quarters at night. Is...everything okay? Do you not feel safe?"

I looked up at him and saw honest concern so I shook my head kindly. "Actually I feel safer now than I've ever had. I'm okay, Sam. I promise." I figured a white lie wouldn't hurt. "There's someone VERY special in my life who loves me so fully, would keep me safe from any danger, would give his life for me, treats me like gold...he's not a Porter so that's why I cant have him in my quarters. So I stay at his."

Sam studied me then nodded. "Happy for you. Truly. Love like that is beyond difficult to find nowadays. If he ever hurts you, I'll destroy him."

"Woah.... thank you, I guess?" I grinned stupidly at him. "That's not a worry whatsoever though. We....we have an unbreakable strand now."

"Fuck. That serious, huh?" 

"Beyond, Sam. Beyond. "

□□□□□□□□□□

As we did our best to fight off the MULES, they were overpowering Sam and I and twice I missed being shot and speared. "HIGGGGGGS!!!!!" I was metally screaming over and over but, when Sam took down a large MULE, one snuck up behind me and violently stabbed me in my side, pulling down hard. 

I met Sam's horrified eyes as I fell over - and that was when Higgs arrived. I heard Sam swear hard, but as Higgs saw me, he let out a deafening roar, picked me up, looked to Sam and bellowed, "IF YOU WANT TO FUCKING SURVIVE, BRIDGES, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE. HURRY."

Sam, shocked at Higgs' behavior, didn't move so Higgs cussed, jumped over to him, pulled him close, hissed, "Hold tight, Sam." and Higgs summoned one of the biggest BT'S Sam or I had ever seen.

The MULES started screaming for their lives as Higgs jumped with me and Sam.

\---

Sam watched in fascinated horror (and slowly growing understanding) as he watched Higgs set me down on the ground and panic.

"Ash....stay with me. Come on Ash....." Higgs drew on some Chiral and began knitting my injuries closed but I was falling into unconsciousness.

"NO, ASH. FUCKING STAY WITH ME." Higgs yelled and let out a heartbreaking sob as he worked harder.

I woke and let my head fall to the side, meeting Sam's eyes. He knew. He knew who my heart was bonded with. And he was shocked.

I returned to gazing up at Higgs and raised my hand, placing it on his cheek. He turned his face, kissing it gently and then moved his hands over my wound; now closed and not bleeding any longer. He whispered, "You're gonna be okay, my Ash. You're gonna be okay. I love you. I love you so much.... I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner. I'm so sorry. So fucking sorry." He lied down next to me and gently pulled me into his arms, where he began to sob hard.

I held him close and cried with him."I know you didn't do it on purpose, my Higgs. Sweet Higgs. And I'm okay now. Tired but OK."

"I'll need to rest for a while too. I used a lot of Chiral on you plus gave you a lot of my blood." Was Higgs drowsy reply. "Wasn't gonna lose you. Not you. I... Saved Sam too."

"I see that. Thank you, Higgs." I then asked, "Is it safe to stay here? There's no Timefall protection..."

"I saw one back the other way. If.... If you and... Higgs can walk, I'll get us there....". Poor Sam was beyond mindfucked but he was still Sam.

Helpful.

Caring.

Confused beyond belief.  


it was slow going but we finally reached the Timefall shelter and got situated inside. I gave Higgs some water from my canteen as we held each other close.

Sam was eating and deciding whether to stare at us or look away.

Finally he gave a grunt and asked, "So.... You two...."

"Yes." Higgs and I both said.

"Ah..." Sam slightly curled his upper lip. "That's..... kinda fucked up."

"Yeah. But beautiful." I murmured as Higgs said at the same time, "Pure love."

  
"Did.... Ash... Did you actually... Um.. tame him or something?"

Higgs looked at Sam then grinned, "Not really, BUT you don't got annnnything to worry about any more where you and little old me are concerned, Sammy boy. I ain't got time to mess with you since I'm... reeeal busy now." He muzzled my ear and Sam's eye twitched.

"Well..i...that's good.... Um Ash, are you.... done with being a Porter?"

I looked right at him horrified and gasped, "No WAY. That's my job and I love it. Even more now that Higgs keeps me safe." 

"Well, he sure didn't do a good job this time." Sam stated, staring hard at Higgs.

Higgs' eyes shot to Sam and he growled, "I was tied up with something vital else I'd been at her side instantly. Don't judge me by one time where shit coincided wrong." He kissed the top of my head. "I would die for Ash. I'd KILL to keep her SAFE. She is more important to me than ANYTHING else I have going on. The reason I was late getting to her was because someone sent a fucking _bomb_ to Port Knot and I was getting rid of it so the entire fucking city wouldn't void out, okay, Sam? Is THAT good enough for you? Huh?"

I looked at him in horror. "What? Who...."

"Not sure yet. I think it was a Demens group. Some decided to go their own way. I'd not put it past them. But like I told you a while ago, Ash. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of two. I got to you late, but I got to you and you're alive."

Sam's jaw was on the ground as he just stared unbelieving at Higgs. "What the fuck did you do with Higgs Monaghan and where is he? YOU stopped a bomb?"

"Yes, Sam. I did." Higgs stated, staring deep into Sam's eyes."And I'd do it again." He then turned to me and said, "I'm going to the back of the shelter, I need some sleep, but please join me soon, my Ash. I love you and you're my world."

"I love you too, my Higgs. You're my world also. I'll be there shortly." Higgs gave me a little loving smile, gave me a kiss and went away.

I watched him go and then turned my eyes to Sam who was still in shock.

"I know this has to be the biggest mindfuck in the world." I murmured. 

"That's an _understatement_." He replied. "I just... This is HIGGS. You know. Mass murderer. Terrorist. His biggest goal was to take out Port Knot City yet... he stopped it. I... didn't know he had it in him."

"I never would have believed it before either. But damn. I'm glad he stopped it, obviously."

Sam sat there for a while then leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "You two really love each other."

"With all our souls, Sam. Our strand is unbreakable."

He was quiet again and nodded. "Ash..." 

"Sam..."

He met and held my eyes. "I'll need time to come to an acceptance of this, after Higgs has tried to kill me many times before. But... I'm honestly happy for you, Ash. You're glowing and I've never seen that on you. It looks good."

"Thanks, Sam."

"I'll keep it quiet also. As far as Bridges or anyone is concerned, nothings going on. You're a great friend, Ash, and much as I don't trust Higgs - yet - happiness comes in odd ways and I ain't taking it from ya." 

"Oh Sam." my eyes filled with grateful tears. "Thank you. That all means more than you'll ever know. YOU mean more to me than you'll ever know, also."

"What I said earlier at the last shelter, it still holds true." Sam held my eyes. "If he hurts you, I'll kill him."

We sat in silence for a bit.

"I'm going to turn in now, Sam." I said, standing up.

"Okay. I'll be up a bit longer." Was his reply. "Sleep well, Ash."

"You too, Sam. And thank you."

"Don't mention it." Was his kind response. 

I went to the back of the shelter and found Higgs lying on the bed, his eyes closed. I quietly stripped off my clothes except for my shirt and panties and slid into bed next to him. He opened his eyes when he felt the mattress dip from my weight.

"Hi, Ash." Higgs murmured sleepily and pulled me against him. Moving his lips to my ear he whispered, "What do you say we have some hot, wild, loud sex just to annoy Sammy boy?"

I just looked at him, then grabbed my pillow and bopped him on his face. I giggled and replaced the pillow, then let out a laugh as he rolled me to my back and playfully growled, "You're gonna pay for that, Kitten..."

"Whatcha gonna do?" I smirked - then my breath caught as Higgs slipped his hand into my panties and began slowly massaging my clit.

"What am I going to do, Darlin' mine? Since you want to be so quiet to not offend Sammy's innocent ears," he grinned evilly, "Then you best be _real_ silent when I make you cum..."

"Oh that's not fair...." I groaned as my body began to wake up. "You play dirty, Higgs."

"Mmmm-hmmm. I'm _Higgs_. What do you _expect_?" He raised a brow then kissed the tip of my nose. 


End file.
